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These reviews of mine are basically live blogs only not live. FAIL.


Sherlock - 2x02

RUSSEL TOVEY'S EARS. I knew it, could spot 'em a mile away. And you can't tell me that confused-in-the -woods opening wasn't a shout out to Being Human. Oh, and he really can't act at all can he? He just plays Russel Tovey to various degrees of nervousnes. Shame.

Oh my God his ACCENT. It's so bad make it stop oh god. "Yes, we were eeeuuuuut on the meeeuuuuur." FFFFF, toff you ain't. There's Sherlock right oppostie you, dear God, you can't hope to pull it off against that specimen. MAKE IT STOP.

John in that shirt is fucking gorgeous, and has he just had a shave? Or IDK maybe it is all the shirt, that colour takes years off him.

I realise this review is terribly superficial so far, sorry I'm in that kind of mood.


OH MY GOD. THE CIGARETTE SMOKE SNIFFING, THE SNIFFING. AND HE DOES IT TWICE! My flatmates must think I'm mad the noises I made. I practically exploded with laughter. (Also, so does that imply after Mycroft's gift cigarette he went and started smoking again? because if so UNSPOKEN CONTINUITY. YAY. I LOVE THIS SHOW.)

Hm, so I remember enough to know the glow-in-the-dark-rabbit is probably intertwined, but I forget most of the plot. Seems we won't be getting any Sally on Anthea action. BOOO.

Ooh pretty pretty Devon. No funky transitions though, different Director? Different DOP? Look at Sherlock posing on the cliff. Conspicuous much, Heathcliff?

Ooooh, Sherlock has a nice Land Rover, did he rent it? Or does he just have hordes of fancy cars stuffed in various garages around and about London. (He totally does. I bet he has loads, and random property as well, like... Pemberley or, well, Wuthering Heights if we're gonna be in-keeping with the meeeuuuuurs and Sherlock's Heathcliff-ness.)

John, give it up, you're gay for Sherlock and he's as gay as his asexual self can be for you. JUST ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON.

Oh come on, a plaster cast of a print? Seriously? That's your proof? The Pitt Rivers Museum back in Ox had an installation put in in the grass outside the building. Dinosaur footprints treading right across the way (my little brother loves them). Seriously, how hard is it to fake a plaster cast? COME THE FUCK ON.

Oh. Oh. Military John. Oh my. (Also, SHERLOCK. His face, his look at John. HE'S SO TURNED ON BY SOLDIER!JOHN, DON'T EVEN LIE.)

The whole searching the labs thing was plenty tense, I love those kinds of set ups, sneaking in by being the opposite of sneaky and bullshitting as best as you can.

"You being all mysterious with your... cheekbones..." - OH JOHN. YOU'VE GOT IT BAD. (Also HEATHCLIIIIIFFFF) I love season 2 John, he's so much snarkier.

Still no Sally, or Anthea, but we get Lestrade! And Sherlock deleted his first name from his archives. OH SHERLOCK. You pickpocket his ID!

COFFEE AND THE SMILE SHERLOCK GIVES HIM. AND JOHN WINCING AT THE SUGAR BUT DRINKING IT ANYWAY.

If last ep was the ep of breath stealingly, rib achinly hot sexiness, then this is the ep of hilarious domestic utterly in love-ness. (Even if Sherlock did have ulterior motives, this is Sherlock, he has ulterior motives for which side of bed he gets out of in the mornings.)

Eh the mind palace was diappointing, I wanted a real place but instead they gave us a cheap minority report rip off.

OMG. That ending. OH Jim. Oh fuck. I CAN'T WAIT.





The Good Wife - 3x12

YAY IT'S BACK YAY.

Diana, can you flirt with everyone ever? KTHXBI.

DAVID LEE. YOU ARE A BAMF. ESPECIALLY IN PERIOD COSTUME.

OH WOW, Diane and Will together again. I LOVE THEM. MAMA AND PAPA UNITED. FFFF. Plus it's great to see Alicia and Kalinda coexisting. Baby steps guys, baby steps. (KALINDA'S WEARING A COLOUR! AN ACTUAL COLOUR. HER WARDROBE HAS EXPANDED THIS SEASON TO INCLIDE MORE THAN JUST BLACK, I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER.)

TASSIONI! TASSIONI! YAY. I LOVE ALL THE RECUSSING CAMEO PEOPLE. ALL OF THEM. (On that, we need more MJF.)

NOW SHE'S WEARING PURPLE, KALINDA'S WEARING PURPLE. SHE'S SO GORGEOUS I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. Don't put her back in black show, PLEASE NO.

Lee vs Gold? I, I think I just came a little.

OH MY GOD. Scott-Card vs Tassioni? Face-off of the megawatt smiles.

"I'm sure we'll meet again."
"Oh I can't wait."


OH MY FUCKING GOD. I CAME. I ACTUALLY ORGAMSMED FROM THE SHEER AWESOME. I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE.

CAREY! I LOVE YOU. I love that evil LA Lawyer guy is trying to turn him and he's just like *professional professional proffesional. I am a bamf, fuck yeah, don't you wish I was working for you again, but I'm not, 'cos I'm with the DAs now, yeah were actually the good guys. fuck yeah.* ... *has a sip of water, leans back, Looks like a model, secretly thinks about kissing Kalinda.*

(I don't buy the bit at the lift though, with Alicia, she hasn't changed that much. She's changing yeah, and yeah becoming more ruthless, but come on. She'd do the same for Carey. Damn straight. She's still the goodest good ever to good.)

DIANE I LOVE YOU DIANE. YOU TELL THOSE IDIOTS OFF AND SEND THEM TO THEIR ROOMS, Eli/Gold, not as epic as hoped, because Diane SHUT THEM DOWN. LIKE A BAMF. BECAUSE SHE IS ONE. (In case I haven't made that clear).

Scott-Card/Tassioni however... Will's been served...

THE GAME, MRS FLORRICK, IS ON.


But, okay, so TGW rarely fucks up when it comes to gender. But race issues can be a little more sticky. And I'm kind of missing the straightforward case episodes where we went up against the entire DA's office. Because now it seems like Cary is the only person they go against and I love him, I do, but I miss the other guys, too small head fr her body woman, and the black guy who moved Carey into a cupboard (names, I know, not my strong point). And the problem with the Scott-Card thing is that her and Dana are now painted as the bad guys (and Carey less so because he's been clear about his desire to wind down, also IDK if he even knows about Peter, in fact Wendy's the only one to have mentioned it, right?) So instead of having prosecutors against the firm (but still being technically good guys). We have prosecutors who we're supposed to hate because they're coming after our guys personally. (As in, Will. I don't care about Peter.)

Then we have David Lee and Julius, and yes David Lee is an arsehole, but he's also really fucking awesome. Like, he covers his own fuckups and I honestly think he would chew Eli up and spit him out (well, maybe. Okay IDK, Eli has tricks). But Julius, all we've seen him do is complain.

And even Gorgeous Mr Ealy in S2, he was fun, but he was the bad guy, that was the plot point and that's why they bought him out. So basically all the regular black characters seem to be bad guys. And that pretty much sucks. I love that we have Kalinda, I love everything about her, but I don't like that she has to bear the weight of being the only regular good guy POC (well okay, and Alicia's secretary, but she's not really regular, or very important). So. Yes, more POC and more on the side of WIN plz.





Once Upon a Time - 1x08

Question - is Gram a nickname or is it just the way Americans pronounce Graham? Like calling Alicia, Alisha? Because I'm confused.

OK so firstly I refuse to believe he's dead. No fucking way. Off-screen? Bullshit. Pics or it didn't happen.

Also, so Rumplestiltskin losing his son explains why he's screwed up in the children place (that sounds wrong) but it still doens't make sense for him to be stealing OTHER people's babies.

...

Hm, I know I said the show had won me over, but... IDK now.

First Graham is actually gone, seriously actually gone? (I mean I'm still in the pics or it didn't happen place, but... I know when I'm being a tin-hat type.) Second the show is absurdly anvilivcious about it's good and evil chracters, (despite some sperficial attempts otherwise.) And, I like the bad guys. Regina and Gold are my favourites. The good guys are my least favourites (well, I like Snow, but Emma's rapidly losing my vote, and Henry lost it about when he first started badmouthing his mother. So, from the start.)

Which brings me on to the third point - the awful portrayal of Regina, Regina/Henry, Regina/Graham (AND THEIR PERFECTLY NORMAL, CONSENSUAL ALBEIT FUCKED UP BUT STRAIGHT FORWARD AND NOT CREEPY RELATIONSHIP). In fact, Regina/Anyone ends up fail. She's like a weird automaton and no one reacts to her like a real person and it all rings completely false. They could have had her standoffish and super awkward and controlling, plus having a big Loki sized helping of self hatred etc, but they've just made her cut out evil in a way that plain doesn't work. She's all super evil but she HAS NO REASON TO BE. She's Mayor, everything has been going her way, it's like she's still the Evil Queen back in Fairy land only weirdly impotent. THAT WAS NOT THE POINT OF THE SPELL.

And finally Storybrook as a town makes no sense. Where's the rest of the police dept? How can Emma stride right in and take over? Can you even hire a Sheriff with a criminal record? I guess they were trying for Storybrook has its own rules with the town charter thing, but whatever. What does the Mayor even do anyway? How can no one realise they've never left the town? Why is no one starting to ask these questions now even if they haven't asked them before? How shit a curse is this? I thought Regina was meant to have a good deal, instead she has small town power over a bunch of losers.

Plus, why is Rumplstiltskin trying to bring her down? He wanted the curse.

Grr. Too much not sense making, and this is by the creaters of Lost, so. I have no trust.

BUT. BUT... Mr Gold. I WANT TO KNOW HIS EVERYTHING. I can't quit Carlyle. (HIS FACE. WHEN HE WAS ALL COWARDLY AND CRYING AND SAD AND POINTY AND THEN HE WAS EVIL AND GREEN AND POINTY AND I'M SO STUPIDLY IN LOVE WITH HIS STUPID FACE I CAN'T EVEN. Also Regina's smile to Emma, the one that was all TEETH TEETH I WILL CUT YOU BITCH. KISS KISS.)




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