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GAH NO. Draco would not take tea with cream and plenty of sugar. WE HAVE HAD THE CREAM CONVERSATION. PLEASE STOP.

Draco would have Earl Grey, black with no sugar, and it'd be loose leaves, not a bag. Harry would have a bag of brand name black tea, not Tetleys or PG Tips because that's what the Dursleys had in their house. Maybe he'd go a little upscale and buy himself Twinings English Breakfast, or maybe he'd go for something basic but good like Sainsbury's Red Label. He'd have it with a splash of milk and one sugar. Ron would have tea. "Tea is tea, normal tea. Who cares about the bags or leaves rubbish? Splash of milk and two sugars please, ta'." Hermione has Rooibosh (Red Bush), with dash of milk and no sugar. "Except really it's exactly half a teaspoon but no one ever gets the measurements right so better to say nothing and have some sweet biscuit or piece of cake along with."

Milk, one sugar is the norm, you really can't go wrong with that. Loose leaf tastes better and is more expensive than bags, the more discerning palette will have loose leaf. (Or people who routinely make big pots of tea. The Weasleys will have a big chipped teapot and a tin of loose leaf black tea.) Most people have Earl Grey as an alternative, and again that runs the spectrum of cheap bags, more expensive bags (Twinings) to loose leaf.

MILK. NEVER CREAM. And the only person I can think of who'd have lots of milk is someone like Trelawney who'd want it weak too."Only dip the teabag in for a couple of seconds dear, I don't like it too strong." Waste of a fucking teabag. Or maybe a curve ball, like Remus, extra milk until it's all pale and you can barely taste the tea. "I know, Sirius always threatened to skip the teabag all together and see if I'd notice."

Sugar disguises the taste of the tea. It's like bags vs looseleaf in terms of who would take what if you know what I mean. (And what I mean is that I'm bringing awkward, broad, classist statements into it.) 'Builder's tea' is hot and strong and stiff with sugar, that should tell you enough.

Sherlock has strong tea, a dash of milk no sugar (possibly black no sugar, but John automatically makes it with milk and so Sherlock's got used to it that way). John is definitely your straightforward milk, one sugar. Mrs Hudson has two sugars and takes it a little weak. Mycroft has super expensive loose leaf Darjeeling specially, organically grown in some farm he knows by name and shipped out directly. Lestrade is two sugars and a splash of milk. "But frankly I'd prefer coffee". Sally likes Earl Grey, or Lady Grey occasionally, and black, no sugar. "I like to actually taste the tea." Anderson doesn't see why everyone gives such a shit about tea. "It's just a stupid drink."

Molly drinks herbal tea with a spoonful of honey.


I feel like the scales need balancing. What's the cringey most obvious Ameri-pick mistake non-American authors tend to make?

And in the interests of transparency -- strong, dash of milk, exactly half a teaspoon of sugar. English Breakfast in the mornings and for when I really need a proper cup of tea, otherwise it's Earl Grey (Twinings or Sainsbury's taste the difference is surprisingly good, its got a lemony twist). None of this herbal rubbish. And as I've previously said (I think?) when on the Continent I can stomach various coffees, one sugar.

The Lady - OMG this I want to see so bad. Can everyone who might even slightly be considering watching the Margaret Thatcher movie just NOT, and go watch this instead? Aung San Suu Kyi is amazing and wonderful and oh God I want to see this so much. (Also Michelle Yeoh is THE SHIT, guys.)

Moonrise Kingdom - This looks awesome. And seriously how is it not made by the Coen brothers? Are we sure Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola aren't the Coen brothers in disguise? Because this seems very Coen to me. (Also, SWINTON and McDormand? In the same movie? *dances*)

Thin Ice - Talking about the Coens, this seems like all it needs is McDormand and Mr Funny Lookin' and we'll have ourselves Fargo 2. That said, it looks like it could be funny rather than derivative. Also, is Billy Crudup too old to be a leading man now or something? He's hot. I've had a crush for a while (Stage Beauty, anyone? Acting drama plus cross-dressing. I seem to remember there being a lot of sex in that movie, but I may be confusing it with something Casanova-related which I have a feeling I watched around the same time.)

Wrath of the Titans - No lie, this looks awful, but Voldemort plays the baddie, and most importantly... Rosamund Pike in Roman soldier gear. Leather, metal. Oh yeah. ( I'm still mentally casting her as Chapel btw. IT JUST WORKS.)

Gone - I'd sort of love it for the twist to be that she abducted her own sister and is actually batshit insane, but the trailer seems to imply she's not making it up. (I swear it gives us a shot of the killer's face at the end as well. Way to ruin the story.)

TDK Rises also, obvs, and Prometheus. I feel like a bad Hiddles and Cumberbatch fan but I have no desire to see War Horse.

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