nemonclature: Daria looking unamused (squint)
[personal profile] nemonclature
Tea everywhere always, yes.

No availability of coffee? Bollocks.

Some people (weirdos that they are) just don't do tea. There is a Starbucks/Coffee Republic/Costa/Cafe Nero/Pret on every single corner and a whole host of independent cafes as well. Most normal people will have a jar of instant (Nescafe) at home. Most 'posh' people will be doing the whole 'oh we're so European' and will have some sort of coffee machine, either the big shiny monstrous thingies that make cappuccinos (my aunt), or a stovetop espresso (us), or a cafetiere thingamagig (my friends).

(Finding an American style coffee maker, however, is much less likely.)

Yes the English are on the whole anti-Europe as a national identity sort of thing, (/we are English, therefore we hate everyone the French.) but to be 'chic' is. Well, chic. We have a love/hate thing going on, and the further up the class ladder you go the more it leans to love. In some ways. Kinda.


Whatever, there is coffee. In cafes there is also usually a hot chocolate option, but unless you're in a good cafe it's probably shitty powdered crap. (Cafe Nero does a good hot chocolate Milano), and then herbal teas and earl grey.

And that's not even including your multicultural influences, which will bring you Turkish coffee, Turkish tea, Moroccan mint tea, green tea, jasmine tea, chai and a whole host of other caffeinated and not-caffeinated hot drinks. (Not in cafes, in people's houses I mean. A cafe might have something they call chai, by which they mean tea with random cloves and cinnamon and shit. Not actually what any Asian person would call chai).

CREAM DOESN'T GO IN TEA. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT OMG. As far as I can tell cream doesn't meant the same thing over here as over there? I can't imagine they actually mean cream. Actual cream. Seriously. The only reason you'd do that is if you have no milk in the house anywhere and you've already made your cup and I've tried it and it's foul oh god no. Better to have it black.

Double cream is super thick whipping stuff you put on cakes, single is slightly less thick stuff you also put on cakes, or in coffee. Blue top milk is full-fat and drunk by ALL NORMAL PEOPLE. Green top is semi-skimmed and drunk by WUSSES. Red top is skimmed and tastes like water with white food colouring. Not that I'm biased or anything.

Also, no one actually in England drinks Lipton tea. It's insanely difficult to get hold of anyway, none of the big supermarkets stock it. Also, it's shit. They do sell Lipton ice-tea, but the only time I've seen that was in the cafeteria of an International College. i.e. not for the natives. Also ice-tea is fake and wrong. And normal tea is drunk even in Summer heat (yes, all two days of it).


(Also, pretentious people some of my friends obsess over milk vs first tea first. This is because they care more about appearances than tea. And are, therefore pretentious. George Orwell agrees with me.)

(also, also coff-tea tastes like shit. Don't try it. Thank me later.)

Date: 2011-04-26 01:25 pm (UTC)
ext_443402: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
Cream is definitely not the same between the sides of the Atlantic. By cream, in the context of beverages, Americans will always mean something like single cream, but often with even less fat. Like the stuff you find in little mini cups at continental breakfasts in hotels. So yes, we definitely don't mean cream as you think of it, because I agree that putting that in tea would be gross.


And finally, what the fuck is coff-tea? That sounds like an abomination.

Date: 2011-04-26 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
RIGHT? I figured that was the case, but still even putting the top of the milk in, (i.e. the creamiest bit) is still pretty foul. You don't want creaminess in tea, just no.


Um, well, when me and my brothers were younger we would experiment.
Hot chocolate + coffee = win
Tea + anything other than milk = fail.

Actually, I don't think we did tea + hot chocolate, the coffee experiment was enough.

Just for the random, worst coffee you've ever had? Mine was one of those freako instant heat can coffee things (, where you break the seal on the bottom and it acts like a heat pack. In theory. In reality, it's tepid and disgusting, do not try.

Date: 2011-04-26 10:33 pm (UTC)
ext_443402: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
I totally understand the experiment thing. Sometimes amazing, sometimes disastrous. One amazing concoction that resulted from terrible all-nighters and underheated dorm rooms that I highly recommend: Coffee + hot chocolate + pinch of nutmeg + pinch of cinnamon = ORGASM IN A MUG. Just add whiskey for extra kick.

Worst coffee I have ever had...difficult to say, but I'm going to go with the airplane coffee I had when I was twelve. It simultaneously managed to be both watery and too strong, in addition to being really stale, and I had only just started drinking coffee at all, let alone like that. Basically there was not enough creamer or sugar in the entire plane to make that stuff palatable. Good times!

Date: 2011-04-26 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oooh, shall have to try that. Our favourite was - coffee + melted chocolate + hot milk + cocoa + whipped cream + chocolate sprinkles. Heavy metal music optional. (It was a phase, we were teenagers.) To this day IDK how we escaped horrendous acne.

Haha, aeroplane food. It's in a whole category by itself.

Date: 2011-04-26 10:44 pm (UTC)
ext_443402: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
Also, I don't know if you're into any military shows, but the horrendous self-heating thing reminded me of combat coffee (, which if you like things like Generation Kill, may bring you some amusement, as well as mild horror. Sort of like self-heating cans, except with more risk of melting plastic, and more insurgents. Yes.

Date: 2011-04-26 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's some fucking coffee!

Date: 2011-04-26 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm American and totally agree about tea, tho in the deep south of Georgia I do love ice tea, but there is nothing like a cuppa Earl Grey w/wo milk no cream.

Date: 2011-04-26 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Earl Grey is magical. Except, I can't have it in the mornings, IDK why, it's just not a morning tea.

Ice tea is LIES. LIES I TELL YOU. xD

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